My Moon, Chapter 3 pg 17
My Moon, Chapter 3 pg 17
Klai stood silently, staring at Phii Shin. He kept pressing the “open” button, still hoping Phii Shin would join him in the elevator. But Phii Shin avoided his gaze and quickly stepped into the elevator on the left instead. The sound of the neighboring elevator’s weight limit warning pierced Klai’s heart with a sharp pang.
Whether it was because his elevator was too quiet or because the second-year seniors were talking louder than usual, Klai could hear the conversation of the group in the left elevator…
“Shin, get out, damn it.”
“Yeah, it’s over the weight limit.”
“Can’t I come with you guys?”
“No way, go wait for the next one.”
“I saw a little guy in the other elevator, all alone. Why didn’t he just squeeze in with us?”
These conversations…
“I’d rather go with you guys.”
Made Klai move his finger from the “open” button to the “close” button instead.
He pressed it to close… to close the heart that still held onto hope.
To shut his heart completely… and truly let go.
Klai watched the steel doors slowly come together once more. When they closed fully, he saw his reflection in front of him. At that moment, his nose stung, and the reflection began to blur. Klai bit his lip, knowing the wall of tears forming was about to collapse soon.
Though he couldn’t see clearly, habit guided him to know which button to press to get out of there as quickly as possible. He pulled his ice-cold hand back to his side after selecting the floor. Klai tried to shake every thought from his mind.
At this moment… emptying his mind was probably the best thing to do.
But suddenly, a song he’d listened to on repeat last week echoed in his mind. The melody rang so clearly it felt like it was playing right now, even though he stood alone in the rectangular box.
And a fragment of a song lyric echoed in his mind:
“Force yourself a little. Even if you still love him, but he doesn’t love you, we have to let go… let him go for the better.”
It made the fragile veil of tears
“And it will pass, and your heart will change, and one day he’ll fade away… even if today you still feel, even if you still miss him… with every breath.”
Along with a deeply wounded heart… crumbling all at once.
And a body collapsing to the floor…
Klai felt his legs weaken, forcing him to sit on the ground. He wrapped both arms around his knees before letting the tears flow. One slender hand rose to cover his lips, muffling the sobs. Klai thought someone might see him crying through the CCTV camera in the elevator, but the pain at that moment made him care about nothing else. He begged his tears to wash away the cold, indifferent gaze of someone and the conversation that made him feel invisible from his heart.
The elevator moved slowly downward, giving Klai time to compose himself after letting the tears flow uncontrollably. The small figure looked up at the numbers above the elevator door, decreasing steadily, like a countdown signaling that in just a few floors, he’d escape this lonely space. The slender hand resting on his lips moved to wipe the tear stains from his cheeks instead. Klai let the song’s sound loop in his mind without trying to drown it out with other thoughts.
Because Klai knew…
This was his way of encouraging himself.
“And it will pass, and your heart will change, and one day he’ll fade away… even if today you still feel, even if you still miss him… with every breath.”
He could stand up again… even with tear stains on his face. That was probably because Klai chose to use the song “Let Go” to uplift himself, not to make himself feel worse.
Klai now knew… the most important encouragement
was the encouragement that came from within himself.
Ding!
The alert sounded before the elevator doors opened. Klai took a deep breath, filling his lungs, and stepped out, leaving the traces of his heartbreak behind. He hurried to the parking lot because the driver, Uncle, had been waiting for a long time. As soon as he reached the large white van, he saw Uncle Mean, who had driven him since kindergarten, smiling at him.
It was a warm smile that never changed. Klai remembered how, as a child, he’d cry because his father was busy with work and picked him up later than his classmates. His mother had Uncle Mean pick him up instead. After that, Klai never cried from sadness again. He’d smile widely every time he saw Uncle Mean standing by the car, holding a lemon-flavored candy.
“Hello, Uncle,” Klai said, raising his hands to wai the other.
“Hello, Young Master.”
“I’m sorry for making you wait so long, Uncle.”
“It’s alright, little one… are you tired today?” Uncle Hmai said, pulling something out of his pants pocket. Klai pursed his lips when he saw a lemon-flavored candy, now a different brand. Uncle Hmai probably couldn’t find the old brand anymore, so he switched to a new one. But the color of the plastic wrapper around his favorite candy was still the same as before. “I know this won’t make your tiredness go away, but this candy might make you feel a bit better.”
The small figure nodded heavily before taking the lemon candy. Klai wanted to thank Uncle Hmai, but something welled up in his throat, making him only able to lower his head and unwrap the plastic.
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