Pitbabe S2, Chapter 14 pg9

 Pitbabe S2, Chapter 14 pg9

   (Just… wanted to call,) Charlie said softly. Even now, his voice sounded warm, and it only made me miss the real sound of him whispering in my ear, not through any device. That was a hundred times better, but I can’t ask for anything more. (Honestly, I want to call every day, but I was afraid YOU would get annoyed, so I didn’t.)

   Then why call today?

   I asked in my head.

   (I know I shouldn’t call. Doing this makes things worse. Tomorrow, I might wake up mad at myself for it.)

   Even if I wanted to reply, I probably couldn’t now.

   I’m crying… just from hearing his voice.

   (But…)

   But what… say it.

   (I’m afraid you won’t miss me.)

   Hearing that, my tears flowed even more, a chaotic mix of emotions swirling together—longing, sorrow that I could only hear his voice through the phone, anger at his selfishness, fear that I might stop missing him, even though he was the one who chose to end things.

   (Is that a bad trait?)

   Yes. It’s awful, the worst.

   (I said I wanted you to forget me quickly, but now I’m sitting here scared that he actually will. I don’t know what to do, Babe. I don’t want you to be sad, but I also don’t want to disappear.)

   I tried to stifle my sobs, not wanting any sound to slip out and let him know I was crying.

   (Honestly… I’m a little drunk. I stole some of Dr. Chris’s beer.)

   That explained it immediately. Someone as tough as Charlie wouldn’t have called if he was fully sober. Come to think of it, I only now noticed his voice sounded slightly slower than usual. Just a tiny bit—without him saying he was drunk, I wouldn’t have guessed.

   (If I said I miss you so much… would you be mad, Babe?)

   Look at what drunk people do.

   Charlie is so cruel to me. What is he expecting? Just to call, say what he wants, and leave? What about me? Does he ever think about how I’m supposed to go on after he says things like that?

   (If you don’t want to hear it, just hang up.)

   He’s this cruel.

   So why haven’t I hung up yet?

   (I miss you, Babe…)

   I’m dying.

   He’s deliberately calling to kill me.

   (Without you… it feels like I’m going to die.)

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