Pitbabe S2, Chapter 15 pg4

 Pitbabe S2, Chapter 15 pg4

   “More like having someone to keep your behavior in check,” I smirked, handing him a new bottle of water. North took it and chugged a big gulp. Even the natural way he drank was oddly captivating. I hadn’t noticed before, or maybe it’s because North has fully embraced his role as a seasoned racer now, and some hidden charm is bursting out like shaken champagne. Looks like during the actual race, the guys and girls on the sidelines will have a new star to ogle instead of the usual standouts like Phii Babe and Charlie. “If I wasn’t here keeping an eye on you, you’d probably start daydreaming again.”

   “Hey, everyone has their off moments,” North protested, defending himself. “When you weren’t around, I just got a bit off balance.”

   “A bit? You were about to quit racing.”

   “That’s what I call a bit.”

   “Whatever, fine,” I gave up on arguing with the shameless racer. North has always been like this. He’s bold and straightforward with everyone, even teasing Phii Babe to the point of nearly getting punched a few times. But with me, he’s so stubborn, always countering everything I say until I’m too tired to argue. “Just coming back is good enough.”

   “I’m heading back. What about you?” North asked, taking the tripod from my hand. We were heading back to the garage since we’d finished the practice session Phii Alan had scheduled.

   “What?”

   “When are you coming back?”

   “Aren’t I back already?”

   “I mean for good.”

   I knew from the start what North meant. His “coming back” wasn’t complicated. Before I left, North played it cool, congratulating me without a hint of wanting to hold me back. But this time, since I’ve been back, he’s been dropping hints through words and actions that he wants me to stay for good. It’s not blunt, but it’s clear enough.

   “My goal’s not done yet. How can I stay?” I answered flatly, maybe sounding harsh, but I had no good reason to lie to him. “I’m only here until just before the season starts. Then I’ve got to go handle my own stuff.”

   “You won’t even stick around to watch me race?”

   “I can watch from there.”

   “Have you ever actually watched?”

   “Sometimes, when I’m free.”

   Big lie. I’ve watched every race he’s been in.

   Guess I’m just as stubborn as North. Can’t pin it all on him.

   “I thought since you helped with practice, you’d want to see the results,” North said, sounding a bit hurt. His tone and demeanor seemed casual, like he wasn’t overthinking, but I know inside he’s crumbling—not collapsing, just eroding bit by bit. That’s because he’s tied himself to me too much. “Watching live versus trackside—how’s that the same? You talk like you were never a racer.”

   “Hey, I’ve got work to do too,” I said, trying to pull North back to reality. It’s not pretty, and he knows it, but he often ignores it, acting selfish about things already set in stone. “You still get to do what you love. Can’t I do the same?”

   “You can,” North replied softly. “I just want you to stay and watch, even just the first race.”

   It’s not that I hate the idea. I want to watch him race too. But if I soften and stay for the first race, I’m scared I won’t want to leave. If I end up deciding to stay for the whole season to watch him, what then? How’s a whiner like him going to take responsibility for that?

   “Dunno, we’ll see,” I said, brushing it off, knowing arguing wouldn’t end easily. North let out a frustrated sigh but couldn’t negotiate further, so he just went quiet, which I appreciated.

   After we stored the gear in the garage, we sat on the couch to rest. Phii Alan and Phii Babe were still outside, smoking and clearly venting to each other, as usual. Lately, Phii Babe’s been the most pitiful. After his life seemed to be looking up for a while, one of the best things in it was suddenly ripped away. Well… sudden, maybe? I’m not sure. According to Phii Babe, he and Charlie had issues for a while, but since they never seriously tried to fix them, a small scab turned into an inflamed, gaping wound. Worse, Charlie chose not to treat it anymore.

   Seeing the relationship between Phii Babe and Charlie made me realize that nothing lasts forever. Even two people who loved each other enough to die for one another could one day part ways as if they’d never cried and yearned for each other. When it comes to feelings, I’m pretty sure both of them are still deeply attached, at least Phii Babe is clear about it. But Charlie? He’s so hard to read. I believe he still loves Phii Babe, but I can’t fathom what reason led him to make this choice. It’s not just a decision that torments Phii Babe—he’s likely suffering just as much. No, if he weren’t, he wouldn’t have disappeared like this. Since the day they broke up, I haven’t heard a peep from Charlie. I don’t dare ask Phii Babe, and contacting him myself feels like I’d be meddling where I don’t belong.

   

   BABE:

   “Hey?”

   Out of nowhere, North, who was scrolling on his phone, let out a puzzled sound.

   “What?” I turned to him, curious. North kept staring at his phone screen, as if unsure of what he was seeing, his brows furrowed in confusion before he spoke.

   “Charlie’s live.”

   “Huh?”

   “Look.”

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