Pitbabe S2, Chapter 16 pg6

 Pitbabe S2, Chapter 16 pg6

   “I’m serious.”

   “Didn’t you say I was too hung up on Babe to get any work done?” I threw back his words from a few weeks ago. Chris had said I couldn’t make firm decisions because I was too caught up with Babe. Back then, I secretly wondered if he saw Babe as an obstacle for me. I was a bit mad that he viewed my boyfriend that way. But after he found out Babe and I really broke up, I never heard him talk about Babe like that again. Or maybe, deep down, he actually admired Babe but didn’t dare show it.

   “That’s true, but you were at your strongest when you were with Babe.”

   That was unexpected.

   That didn’t sound like something Chris would say at all.

   “Honestly, sometimes I don’t like you as much when you’re not with Babe. You come off like some kind of playboy. Hard to take seriously, somehow.”

   “Whoa.”

   I was speechless. I didn’t think he’d see me that way, and I don’t get what made him think I’m some kind of flirt. I’ve been the same as always. Does changing my style really make people see me that differently? Even with my first boyfriend, I wasn’t the one who made the first move. If Babe wasn’t just as clueless about love as I was, I doubt someone like me would’ve ever had a real relationship like other people. Meeting Babe was like winning the lottery.

   I’ve never understood the idea of seeing someone as an idol.

   Since I was a kid, my dad always said that admiring others is fine, but don’t let yourself get obsessed or worship them as idols. At first, I didn’t get it. I didn’t even know what “idol” really meant. So, I did a bit of digging and found that the direct meaning of “idol” is a statue or figure worshipped as sacred, apart from God. That’s why the term “idol” is used for someone exceptional, talented, or influential. Some are famous, the best in their field, the first name you think of. Others might seem ordinary but create something that touches another person’s heart. Even someone who seems like nothing special can be an idol to someone else.

   My father said that idolizing someone can lead us astray. It creates unrealistic expectations we impose on ourselves, chasing someone else’s path that was crafted specifically for them, not us. We waste time daydreaming instead of acting, and ultimately, we can’t reach our goals because we’re pursuing someone else’s from the start.

   I agreed with my father’s perspective. Growing up, I never felt the urge to idolize anyone. I saw everyone as more or less the same—some more skilled, some less, but no one stood out as exceptional. No one was so remarkable that I wanted to follow their brilliance or be like them. I thought this was the right, simple approach, and it suited me fine. That is, until the day I watched a car race I’d never cared about before.

   His blue-and-white car led the pack from the start. Rival after rival tried to catch up, seizing every chance to overtake, but none could. I could sense that behind the wheel, those drivers were pushing their skills and machines to the limit to surpass that lead car, yet none were strong enough. The leader’s cornering was razor-sharp, entering at the perfect speed, exiting flawlessly, leaving no gap for others to challenge. That track was his playground. Even as a spectator, I felt the thrill. It was a race, sure, but around his car was an aura of vitality, excitement, and freedom—like he was soaring in a wingless vehicle. I’d watched many types of racing, across many tracks, but none had ever made my heart pound like this.

   Everyone called that driver “Pitbabe.”

   At first, I found it amusing that he’d chosen a name tied to the trackside girls as his racing alias. Honestly, those women had no real impact on the race. The competition would go on without them. At best, they added something pretty to look at. Some knew nothing about racing, yet many ended up arm-in-arm with drivers, sitting in multimillion-dollar cars to boost their allure. When I first heard his name, I figured he must be a bit of a joker. What serious, talented racer would want to be called Pitbabe? I doubted any would.

   But after that race, my beliefs about idols started to waver. I began following Pitbabe’s races—old ones uploaded online and new ones whenever I could. I scoured the internet for info about him, watched his teammates’ YouTube channels, scrolled for moments he’d appear in videos, even if just passing by with a goofy face or grumbling like a bear stung by bees. I was easily charmed. One video I loved and rewatched often was when Team X-Hunter went on a beach outing. After dinner, they lit a bonfire, sat in a circle, and talked vividly about their journeys as racers.

   That was when I first saw how lively Pitbabe was. He smiled and laughed easily, doing silly things that clashed with his cool image. He was kind to the younger team members, grumbling but caring for them well and offering sincere advice. Toward the end of the video, a racer named Sonic asked why he chose the name Pitbabe. The man laughed, a bit shy to discuss it, but answered willingly. I remember his words clearly.

   “It actually comes from babes. I wanted a name with my own in it. I remember going to watch Phii Alan race. Before the race, he was the only driver swarmed by girls. The mechanic checking his car came out complaining that the ‘driving lane pit babes’ were a total hassle. Right then, I got the idea. I thought it’d be funny if one day, a name that seems irrelevant to racing was announced as the winner. Like, ‘Crossing the finish line… the winner of this race is Pitbabe!’ It’d be hilarious, right?”

   He answered with humor, but his words slowly unraveled some of my inner biases and limits. Deep down, I felt this wasn’t just chance. Pitbabe wasn’t chosen merely for laughs—it held hidden value. Something deemed unimportant doesn’t have to stay that way forever. We all have the free will to change it. Some words don’t need to be erased; they just need their meaning redefined. With effort and patience through slow days, one day that word can take on a new meaning—and we’re the ones who shape its direction.

   Listening to this might give you chills, but it’s the truth: Pitbabe is the one who changed the meaning of so many words in my dictionary, altered the path I walk, and brought me to where I am today. All the negative beliefs I had about having an idol were completely erased. I admire him with all my heart, following him with pride, without ever expecting to meet him or get close to him in real life. Not even once.

   

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