Pitbabe S2, Chapter 19 pg6

 Pitbabe S2, Chapter 19 pg6

   We spent two full days arranging things on shelves and decorating as much as we could. Charlie helped whenever he was free, but most of the work fell to me and Jeff. As we know, he has a ton of other responsibilities to juggle daily. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have asked us to help in the first place.

   With the interior of the house nearly 100% settled, today we moved on to tackling the outside. Charlie’s house was bought second-hand, and while many parts still have sturdy old structures, like the garden by the side, there’s work to be done. Though the plants are gone, there’s a strong wooden shelf for pots nailed to the outer wall. I fixed some loose brackets, gave it a fresh coat of paint, and prepared small pots to arrange on it. At the very least, it should make the house look a bit more lively, even if the homeowner’s radiating gloom wherever he goes.

   “Have you talked to Babe at all?”

   Seems I picked a lousy topic to chat about while gardening, because the moment I asked, I got a sigh in response. Charlie poured fresh soil into a peperomia pot before answering flatly.

   “What’s there to talk about?”

   “Maybe just to keep in touch. I haven’t seen that guy in days.”

   “If even you haven’t seen him, don’t ask me.”

   “Did you two fight again?” It’s a bit of a low blow, sure, but I couldn’t help it. Not seeing Babe at all like this is a worrying sign. “Didn’t he come over the other day?”

   “Yeah… he did.”

   “And you fought again?”

   “I didn’t want to fight,” Charlie said wearily. I fully believe he didn’t want to argue with Babe. I’ve seen how hard Charlie tries to compromise. But handling Babe isn’t easy, and the only one who’s ever managed it well is Charlie himself. If even he can’t handle it, I genuinely don’t know who could deal with Pitbabe. “But we just couldn’t understand each other. The more we tried, the more we clashed.”

   “Why’d he come over?”

   “To explain the Willy thing.”

   “And you were really mad at him?”

   “I wasn’t mad. I understood that part,” the young man replied, his hands still busy repotting plants. But I knew his head wasn’t on the plants anymore—or worse, it might not have been since we started. “Babe explained everything. I was okay with it, happy for him even. Honestly, we almost got back together.”

   “For real?” Charlie probably didn’t know how thrilled I was to hear the word “got back together,” even if it came with “almost.” “So why just almost? Why not actually get back together?”

   “If it were that easy, that’d be great.”

   “Then why make it so complicated?”

   Charlie laughed, but it was a soft, throaty chuckle, more like he was pitying himself than laughing out of joy.

   “I made it simpler,” Charlie said, a faint smile still on his face. But just looking at that smile, I felt a sense of loneliness. “Staying together is what’s hard.”

   I often can’t help but think I’m truly lucky. Even though, in the beginning, I had to put in an unprecedented amount of effort to break through Jeff’s towering walls, compared to Charlie and Babe, my struggles seem trivial. It was just the usual effort of starting a relationship with someone. But those two? They’re like they’re playing on a seesaw balanced atop a pile of sharp glass shards—thrilling, exciting, but never truly at peace. They take turns stepping on the glass to lift the other’s feet off the ground, each getting a fleeting moment of joy, but both their feet are bloodied, the wounds gaping wider every day. When one finally decides to step off the seesaw, the one left behind is hurt badly. But don’t forget, the one who walks away isn’t unscathed either—they have to tread on the glass with both feet to escape that endless game.

   I want them both to be happy, but I have no idea how to make that happen.

   “Babe will never change his mind. He still wants me to abandon everything to be with him.”

   “And you can’t do that?” I asked bluntly. At this point, overthinking wasn’t necessary—their relationship was already messy enough. “I thought Babe was the most important thing to you.”

   “He is,” Charlie said.

   He turned to meet my eyes, giving a weary smile before focusing back on the plant in front of him. Silence settled around us. I didn’t dare ask anything more, caught halfway between understanding and confusion. For a moment, I thought I grasped what Charlie meant, but when I tried to follow his reasoning, I realized I didn’t fully get it—maybe I only understood a tiny part.

   “There’s no space left for these two,” Jeff said, emerging from the side door with two small jade plant pots. He’d taken on the task of finding spots for the houseplants, but it seemed there was no room left for the tiny pair in his hands. “Where should I put them?”

   “Just group them with these,” I replied. Jeff nodded and stepped between Charlie and me. “With all these plants, the homeowner’s got a lot of extra work now.”

   “Good. Keeps him too busy to think about nonsense,” Jeff said deadpan, while the one he was referring to glanced at his younger brother, opening his mouth as if to argue but ultimately staying quiet, as if realizing he was too tired to bicker right now. “Being around plants and greenery calms the mind.”

   “It’s already calm,” Charlie muttered, seemingly to himself, though it was clear he meant for his Phii to hear.

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