Pitbabe S2, Chapter 22 pg 7

 Pitbabe S2, Chapter 22 pg 7

   My car, with Babe driving, arrived first. Of course, he kept his composure and speed under control like the best racer in the country, while I had no control over anything. A few minutes later, Charlie’s car pulled up. He looked just as shocked but still held it together far better than I did. The kid walked over, hugged me, and whispered softly, “Jeff will be fine.” In that moment, I felt like a child again.

   All this time, I thought I was the one teaching Charlie so much. I gave him opportunities, supported him, and tried to be his rock, because he was a kid born a decade after me, my little brother in a way. So, I had to take care of him the best I could. But today, it was me leaning on him, finding comfort in the words of someone I once saw as just a talented but inexperienced teenager, someone far less seasoned at life than an old guy like me.

   Everyone was here now, except for the one person still in the emergency room—Jeff. No one knew what was happening inside. Even I, who got the call from the rescue team, only knew that Jeff had been in an accident. According to a witness driving several kilometers behind, Jeff’s car was swerving for a while before it veered off the road. The police and rescue team concluded it was due to falling asleep at the wheel. But in my mind, I was pretty sure Jeff didn’t fall asleep. There had to be another explanation, and the only person who could confirm it was Jeff himself.

   Every second crawled by painfully. No matter how many times I looked up, the digital clock outside the emergency room only ticked forward by a minute. I felt like I was going insane, my mind looping over and over: This shouldn’t have happened. This shouldn’t have happened. I shouldn’t have asked Jeff to run that errand. That issue with the parts company—if I’d been a bit more patient, waited until I had time to handle it myself, none of this would’ve happened. Jeff wouldn’t have had to drive out on a day he’d already said he wanted to rest. If I’d been just a little less selfish, this accident wouldn’t have happened, and Jeff would still be fine, not lying in the emergency room in a condition I didn’t even dare imagine.

   I waved off North, Sonic, and Dean, who tried to comfort me. Right now, nothing could calm me down except a doctor’s confirmation that Jeff was safe. I wanted to be calmer, like Charlie, who sat so composed, as if he wasn’t scared at all. He was on the long bench across from me outside the emergency room, with Babe beside him. They sat holding hands quietly the whole time. No one brought up their relationship status, as if it didn’t matter whether they were exes or current partners. They just knew one of them was vulnerable, so the other had to support them. The sight of those two stirred something in me, making me think that even people who’d broken up took better care of each other than I did my own partner.

   I thought I’d tried my hardest, but it still wasn’t enough.

   It felt like God finally heard the prayers in my head. After about an hour, the doctor emerged from the emergency room, looking exhausted, and said, “The patient lost a lot of blood, but he’s out of danger now.” That single sentence miraculously lifted a mountain off my chest. My body felt light, and suddenly, my legs gave out. Everyone seemed startled when I slumped to the floor, probably thinking I’d fainted. I quickly waved my hands and said, “I’m fine. Just relieved, that’s all.”

   Jeff was moved to a private room to recover after stabilizing. Everyone insisted on staying until he woke up. Even North, Sonic, and Dean said they didn’t want Jeff to open his eyes and see only a few people waiting. Though I was pretty sure Jeff wouldn’t care about that, since the kids wanted to stay, I had no reason to stop them. After taking turns dozing off, heads lolling for nearly five hours, the patient finally opened his eyes, looking dazed.

   When Jeff looked at me, my body suddenly felt warm again, after hours of being a cold, moving shell while he was unconscious. During that time, I had plenty of chances to think about pointless things—overthinking, you could say. I’d mentally listed several topics I wanted to discuss with Jeff when he woke up. But when he actually did, I couldn’t say a word. All I could do was smile, pat his head gently in relief, pour him water, and adjust his bed so he could sit comfortably. The task of talking fell to his Phii by default.

   “Do you remember what happened?” Charlie asked his younger brother once Jeff seemed fully aware. His tone was as calm as ever. I don’t know how Charlie managed to stay so composed.

   Jeff nodded slowly. He was no different—fresh from a near-death experience, yet acting as casual as if he’d just tripped and fallen.

   “It’s… confusing,” Jeff said in a hoarse voice. “Like I’m not sure if this is the present or the future. It’s like time kept jumping forward and backward several times. When I tried to focus, to make sense of it, my head hurt so much, and the next thing I knew, I blacked out.”

   Jeff’s words hit me like a hot iron. I knew he’d been having those symptoms for a while, but when he said he was fine, I didn’t push further. I just thought he seemed normal. When he said he was okay, I believed him, even though if it were Charlie, that kid would never have brushed it off like I did. And he definitely wouldn’t have let Jeff drive alone like I did.

   What the hell am I doing?

   “This can’t go on,” Charlie shook his head. He spoke with a serious tone, like he was about to make a crucial decision—or maybe he already had. “Give it to me.”

   “What do you mean?” Jeff asked, his face confused by his brother’s vague words.

   “Your sense,” Charlie replied firmly, but his answer silenced the room, as if every living thing had vanished. “Give your sense to me.”

   “Huh… no.”

   “Are you crazy?”

   Jeff and Babe spoke almost simultaneously. Jeff refused sharply, while Babe shouted in protest. Their voices clashed, directed at Charlie in the middle. The situation was so tense it was hard to breathe, but I had no idea how to help. My mind was completely blank. Even I felt empty, like an invisible man who didn’t matter, unable to help anyone.

   “Didn’t you say you wouldn’t take on more?”

   “Babe…” Charlie spoke slowly. I could tell how heavy this moment was for him. If I were in his shoes, I’m not even sure I’d be as composed as he was right now. “I’m begging you.”

   “Begging for what?” Babe’s voice was sharp. North, sensing trouble, tried to grab his Phii’s shoulder to calm him down, but reining in Pitbabe wasn’t something just anyone could do. From what I’d seen, only Charlie had ever managed it, and even then, not always. So, for outsiders like us, there was no hope. “No means no. I know you’re worried, but are you really going to take on everyone’s burdens just because they’re struggling? Is that all your brain can come up with?”

   “But this is Jeff, Babe. He’s my brother.”

   “I know he’s your brother, but isn’t there another way to help?” Babe wasn’t budging. His face was red with anger, and no one else dared to say a word. “Sorry, Jeff, for putting it like this. It’s not that I don’t care about you—you’re my brother too. But I can’t let Charlie do this.”

   “I understand. I…” 

   “What right do you have to say no?” Charlie cut in before Jeff could finish. He stared at Babe fearlessly, and this was the first time I’d ever seen him like this. I knew he wasn’t some pushover, not meek or voiceless. He had his own mind and wasn’t afraid to act, but I never thought he’d look at Babe with such a cold gaze or use that tone with him. “This is my body. I can do whatever I want with it.”

   “Sure, you can do whatever you want with your body,” Babe said through gritted teeth. It was clear how hard he was trying to keep his emotions in check to keep this conversation from falling apart. “But if you’re going to put yourself at risk of dying, I think I have the right to object.”

   “No, you don’t, Babe.”

   “Charlie!”

   “If I die, that’s my business. You don’t get to order me around!”

   Babe lunged at Charlie in a fit of rage, his fist raised as if to swing. Thankfully, Sonic and Dean grabbed him just in time. I jumped between Babe and Charlie, afraid they’d actually come to blows, but Charlie didn’t seem fazed at all.

   “Step back, Alan,” Charlie said calmly. “Sonic, Dean, let him go.”

   “Charlie…” North stepped in, trying to calm Charlie, who now seemed nothing like the Charlie we knew. “Take it easy. You know how he is.”

   “That’s exactly why I told you to let go,” Charlie glared at Babe as if to say he wouldn’t back down no matter what. I was starting to understand Babe a bit better now—why he’d always been so obedient to Charlie. “You love using force, huh? If you love it so much, go ahead, hit me. Get it out of your system so you can stop acting crazy.”

   I thought Charlie’s words would make Babe even angrier, but the reality was the opposite. Babe went dead silent. He stared at Charlie for a moment, then yanked himself free from Sonic and Dean’s grip and stormed out of the room without a single word.

   Once Babe left, the room fell back into silence. Charlie pursed his lips, raising his hands to cover his face, looking both frustrated and regretful about what had happened but powerless to do anything. I knew he desperately wanted to chase after Babe, and I understood why he couldn’t act on that impulse.

   “Can everyone leave for a bit?” Jeff spoke up after staying silent the whole time. “I need to talk to Charlie.”

   North, Sonic, and Dean nodded and left without objection, understanding the situation.

   “Phii Alan.”

   Jeff looked at me, his expression telling me I should leave too. It was something I sort of understood but also didn’t. I thought I’d be part of this decision, that I deserved to know what my partner was going through and how he’d handle it. But Jeff acted like I shouldn’t be there.

   I couldn’t help him. I even caused him pain, constantly dragging him into trouble over and over. I wasn’t just a partner who failed to protect him—I made things harder for him.

   Is it because I’m not special like him? Is that why I’m so useless?

   Ordinary, worthless, and a burden.

   That’s probably what I am in our relationship.

   ________________________________________

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