Pitbabe S2, Chapter 26 pg 8

  Pitbabe S2, Chapter 26 pg 8

  

   CHRIS:

   Thud!

   As I lay staring at the ceiling, lost in my thoughts, a loud thud interrupted me. It sounded like something heavy had hit the floor on the second story, followed by heavy footsteps, louder than normal walking. It was almost like they were tap-dancing up there.

   “Hey!”

   A commotion erupted, and within seconds, there was a loud bang on a door, then the sound of someone stomping down the stairs.

   That someone was Babe, frantically covering both ears with his fingers as if his eardrums were the last thing he wanted to protect.

   “What the hell was that for?” 

   Babe shot me a look of pure exasperation. His fingers, still plugged in his ears, were likely shielding him from the chaos upstairs, where people had been shouting for a while now. His irritated expression was probably because I’d lied to Alan, saying Charlie was sick, which led him to barge in on his beloved little brother playing the role of a boyfriend with Babe in the room upstairs.

   “It was fun,” I said, chuckling. “So, what happened? Did it all fall apart?”

   “Phii Alan walked in right when I was straddling Charlie. What do you think?” Babe said in a flat tone, dragging his feet as he plopped onto the sofa across from me. But as he sat down, his face showed a flicker of pain.

   “With the whole lab full of people, you two still went at it so hard you threw out your back?” I couldn’t resist teasing. “No shame in front of others, but at least have some respect for the spirits in broad daylight.”

   “No need to imagine anything spicy. Charlie kicked me off the bed.”

   I burst out laughing, completely losing my composure. So that thud earlier was Babe being kicked off the bed? Charlie must’ve been absolutely mortified when Alan opened the door and saw him and Babe in that position. Honestly, I couldn’t even picture Charlie lifting his foot to kick Babe. What a pity I didn’t follow them upstairs to witness my masterpiece. If I’d recorded it, it would’ve been hilarious.

   “He freaked out that bad?” I asked, still unable to stop laughing.

   “Like your dad walking in on you jerking off.”

   “Isn’t that just natural?”

   “Nature, but who would want Dad to see? So I thought about it,” Babe grumbled loudly, while massaging his own hips. He didn’t seem too bothered that Alan caught him in the act of doing something intimate, which wasn’t surprising. He wasn’t the type to get embarrassed about such things anyway. But the one who was probably feeling it the most was the young man who still hadn’t come down from the second floor. Who knows if he was being interrogated by Alan or just standing there, awkwardly facing away from each other in utter embarrassment? “Good thing Phii Alan didn’t have a heart attack first. If he dropped dead, where would we find an old geezer to replace that Jeff?”

   None of this mess would’ve happened if Charlie and Babe had sorted out their relationship clearly.

   Since that day when Charlie suddenly bolted out in the middle of a livestream (causing chaos for everyone), it’s been almost two weeks now. He and his ex, Babe, have been going back and forth as usual. Babe comes to see Charlie at the lab almost every day. On days when Babe doesn’t show up here, it means Charlie has gone to see him. In front of us, the two are close, hugging and kissing like it’s normal, openly showing care and concern for each other. It’s no different from when they were still together. But whenever someone asks, “Have you guys reconciled?” both of them make a weird face before one of them answers in an unusually low voice, “Why are you asking now?”

   In truth, it’s easy to guess that they’ve reached some level of understanding. Babe seems to understand Charlie better now. There’s no sign of him obstructing or teasing like before. As for Charlie, he seems more focused because Babe is back in his sight, close enough for him to take care of like he always has. He also seems brighter, almost like a different person, which isn’t surprising for someone who’s got love back in their arms. These two are the type who let love guide them, so their life’s direction isn’t hard to predict.

   To be honest, Charlie and Babe have nearly shattered my beliefs several times. Let me start by saying I don’t believe in this thing called love (at least not right now). I think it’s just an abstract concept that’s been overrated. Part of it is because it’s been romanticized beyond reality, making people chase after it, wanting to taste and experience it for themselves at least once in their lives. Even if that love is more bitter than swallowing medicine, or the lover they chose is such trash that even their own parents have disowned them, many still cling to the idea that they must have a partner, or “it’s better than nothing,” or something like that.

   Personally, I don’t think love is a bad thing, but as I said, it’s been given way too much importance—so much that it’s practically become a sixth necessity. Many people seem ready to die if they don’t have a romantic relationship. Many endure living in hell on earth just because they think being alone is the deepest pit of hell. These types of people annoy me in an astonishing way, just seeing them desperately trying to chain someone to themselves, even when their arms and legs are covered in gaping wounds from the shackles of love.

   You could say I’m neither for nor against people in love, but I’m rather disgusted by those who worship love to the point of ruining themselves.

   Charlie and Babe seem to fall somewhere between these two types. Sometimes they seem like the former, sometimes the latter. Even now, I can’t find a definition for them. But one thing that shakes my beliefs is that, at times, they make me think, “Maybe trying crazy love wouldn’t be so bad.”

   But that’s just a fleeting thought.

   I respect myself truly.

   The only one I can love endlessly without conditions is myself. The only one who gets forgiveness for every mistake is myself. The only one worthy of being cherished with all my life is myself.

   Me.

   The only one I’ll never let down.

   That person is me.

   That’s why I stand on the opposite side of the universe from those two. They’ll never understand someone like me, who’s ready to do anything to protect himself. And I, steadfast beyond anything, will never understand those who choose others over themselves. The love between Charlie and Babe is something I can tolerate watching, but I’ll never comprehend it.

   So, I can only offer my blessings from the other side of the universe, hoping that the love they both worship doesn’t betray them tragically in the end.

   

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