Pitbabe S2, Chapter 30 pg 8
Pitbabe S2, Chapter 30 pg 8
I’ve always hoped he’d realize that being by his side is the greatest luck an unlucky guy like me could ever have. Taking care of him makes every day of my life more memorable. Learning about him and understanding him makes me know what I want to do tomorrow. He’s part of every day, month, year—every hour and second of my life. But he sees himself as just a burden I wouldn’t miss when we’re apart.
Does he know how heartbreaking that thought is?
“Don’t make that face,” Babe said, starting to fidget. He looked anxious when he saw my expression wasn’t playful. “I got it wrong, okay? I won’t think of myself as a burden anymore. Don’t cry.”
“Do I look like I’m crying?”
“Your eyes are watery.”
“Stop exaggerating.”
Deep down, I wanted to scold him more, but seeing his guilty expression, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. In the end, I just pinched his nose as punishment. But instead of looking remorseful, the punished one grinned widely, as if grateful.
“If you never saw me as a burden, that’s good,” Babe said. “From now on, I can be your burden to the fullest—no holding back.”
“Have you ever held back?”
“Well, a little.”
Suddenly, I wondered if it’s possible that the power I have could stop time forever. So far, the longest I’ve managed is five minutes. In that frozen world, those five minutes feel like eternity. I can do so much without the world interfering, but it’s a shame I’m the only one who keeps moving forward. With that condition, even if I could stop time forever, it’d be pointless. The person I want to spend time with most can’t move forward with me.
Even if I could stop time, it wouldn’t matter.
Even if I want to stay here with him forever, in the end, the only thing truly with me would be loneliness.
“Seriously, don’t hold back with me,” I said. “I love taking care of Babe. Whatever you need help with, just tell me. If I full can do it, I’ll make it happen.”
“You’d try to find a way to do it anyway.”
“Of course I’d try, within what I can do. I can’t just magic up everything. If one day Babe says he wants to rule the world, what am I supposed to do?”
“You’d conquer the world and hand it over to me afterward.”
I laughed. Babe’s words were nonsense, but the funnier thing was that I thought I might actually do something that crazy. No idea if I’d succeed, but I’d probably push myself to the brink to give him the whole world.
And honestly, what I was doing now felt a bit like Babe’s hypothetical scenario.
“Delusional,” I said, pinching both of Babe’s cheeks with one hand until his full lips puckered. Even with his mouth distorted, he still shot me a deadly glare. That’s no ordinary skill. “Go shower and sleep.”
“Not sleeping,” Babe mumbled, still trapped by my grip.
“What? Not sleeping, then what?”
“It’s morning already,” he said, tilting his face to escape my hand before staring at me with a confused frown. “Didn’t you say you had to go to the lab early?”
His words made me realize our bedroom was brighter than before. Soft sunlight slipped through the small gap between the curtains. The clock by the bed read 06:12 AM. Just half an hour ago, we were arguing about morning sex, yet somehow I’d convinced myself it was still the middle of the night.
“You’re right,” I said, blinking rapidly, still baffled at how I could be so out of it. “I’m all messed up. I thought it was still nighttime.”
“Need a doctor? Your brain’s gone to mush.”
“I’m just sleep-deprived, okay?” I retorted, annoyed at the smug guy who seized every chance to pile on. As if he’s not the one who gets confused and assumes things way worse than I do. One little slip, and he acts like I’m always like this. “Speaking of doctors, have you been keeping up with your appointments, Babe?”
“Of course,” Babe replied casually.
“Really?”
“Yeah, every month.”
At first, I wasn’t too convinced. Even when I was around, Babe would whine and drag his feet about monthly doctor visits. I had to bribe him with rewards to get him to go. But now he’s claiming he goes every month on his own, no forcing needed? Honestly, it’s hard to believe. I couldn’t help but test his honesty. I touched the back of his hand. He glanced down at my hand on his, seeming to know what I was up to, but he didn’t resist or complain. Babe sat still, letting me check for lies with a relaxed demeanor.
“You’re right,” I said softly when I realized he was telling the truth. “Every month.”
“Duh, why would I lie?” Babe said lazily, looking at me like I was an idiot for worrying and doubting everything. Honestly, who’d want to be like this? If he hadn’t been so stubborn all this time, I wouldn’t be so anxious. “I go on every scheduled day, take all my meds too.”
I think it’s a feeling similar to the pride parents feel when they see their child grow up, learn to take care of themselves, or accomplish something they couldn’t before. During the time we were apart, one of my biggest worries was his health. His physical health wasn’t too concerning, but his mental health was fragile and at risk. I was terrified that without me there to nudge him, Babe wouldn’t bother seeing a doctor, wouldn’t take his prescribed meds, and would end up relapsing again. If that happened, I’d probably blame myself for a long time.
“You’re doing great,” I said with a proud smile, gently ruffling his hair. “Taking care of yourself now.”
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