Pitbabe S2, Chapter 5 pg2

 pg2

   “Got a ton of followers. I’ve been secretly checking.”

   “Of course, he’s hot,” Phii Touch chimes in.

   “Phii Touch,” I try to stop him from saying anything more embarrassing, but it’s clearly not that easy. The newcomer seems just as eager to keep saying things that make me squirm.

   “Handsome, smart, kind,” Dr. Chris says. “And a race car driver too.”

   “Exactly, exactly. The full package of a hot guy.”

   It seems scolding them is pointless; the uncle and nephew get along like a house on fire. So, I give up and reluctantly accept their embarrassing compliments.

   The whole time I’m standing here, I can’t help stealing glances at Dr. Chris. He really looks so much like Phi Way. No matter how I look at it, I can’t deny that fact. Before this, I always thought the doppelgänger theory was just a conspiracy or a fairy tale to scare kids. It seemed impossible for someone (who isn’t a twin) to look that identical to another person. But after meeting Chris, I’m starting to think it might not just be a children’s story.

   …

   ALAN:

   “You okay?”

   Jeff’s voice snaps me out of my daze. Since this morning, I’ve felt like I’m not quite all there. Honestly, it might be more accurate to say since yesterday. Last night, I barely slept, consumed by thoughts of a younger brother I’ve felt guilty about for the past two years. It’s like I did the right thing—right by the victim, right by morality, right by the law. I thought I had enough knowledge and maturity to understand that. But as a human and an older brother who personally sent his younger brother to prison, I don’t think that “rightness” can fill the deep hole in my heart.

   “Uh… yeah, okay,” I’m not even sure if I’m actually okay, but I say it anyway because it feels like the most correct response. “Thanks for being here, man.”

   “What’s with that talk? Jeff’s gotta be here, no question.”

   Today is Dean’s release day, one of my Ex-Hunter younger brothers. The brother I neglected and ignored when he was trying his hardest. The foolish brother who chose a dirty path, and I wasn’t smart enough to reach out and help him when I still could. Until everything reached a point where neither he nor I could fix anything anymore.

   For the past two years, I’ve visited Dean every week, catching up on his well-being and sharing stories of what’s happening outside in the limited time we had. Every action and conversation were under the watchful eyes of the guards. I can’t deny that seeing Dean always left me feeling depressed. Seeing how he lived, hearing about what happened inside, a voice in my head kept hammering that this was all because of me. I’m the one who pushed him to the edge of the cliff. When he was about to fall, he grabbed whatever was closest to survive. There was no time to consider whether it was a tree root or a grenade pin. And when he made it through, I locked him up in another kind of hell instead.

   “Phii Alan,” North walks in with Sonic. They arrived just a few minutes after me and Jeff. “Has Dean come out yet?”

   “Not yet. They said it’ll be a bit.”

   “This place feels so depressing,” North mutters, looking around, before Sonic smacks his arm.

   “It’s not a theme park,” Sonic says sternly. “Behave yourself.”

   “I haven’t even done anything!”

   “Quiet,” Sonic grits his teeth. I know he doesn’t want North’s words to hit me too hard. The more I realize how awful this place is, the more it reinforces that I’m the one who sent Dean back here. No one else.

   “Phii Alan.”

   This time, it’s not North’s voice. I look up, jumping out of my chair the moment I see the face of the person calling me.

   “Dean!” I rushed to hug my little brother, overjoyed to see Dean in clothes that truly suited him—not the forced uniforms worn by hundreds of others. His face looked brighter than the last time we met. Dean flashed his wide smile, the same one he always gave when we saw each other, as if to say, “It’s all okay.” I could feel that message, but the hard part was that I couldn’t fully believe it—or fully forgive myself, for that matter. “Finally back home, huh?”

   “Yeah, I missed home like crazy.”

   “Dean!” Our moment lasted only a few seconds before the mischievous duo, in perfect sync, yanked me away and swarmed Dean with hugs. Meanwhile, Jeff stood quietly outside the circle, as usual.

   “Missed you so much,” North said, still clinging tightly to Dean. “Without you, I’ve got no one to spar with.”

   “Of course, your partner ditched you to go international,” Dean said, laughing.

   “I’m back now,” Sonic chimed in loudly. “But I’m still not sparring with you. Better you go train with him instead.”

   “I’d like to spar,” Dean said with a smile, his gaze shifting past the two troublemakers to meet mine. “But I don’t know if there’s still a place for me.”

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