Pitbabe S2, Chapter 5 pg6

 pg6

   Believe me, human hatred is the most repulsive thing there is. It’s a driving force as powerful as love, and often far crueler. In my life, I think I’ve seen every form of hatred—both experienced firsthand and observed in others. I believe there’s such a thing as justified hatred. Immoral treatment happens every day, and personally, I think that’s a valid reason. There’s no need to force love or empathy toward those who harm us first, because this is a world that should be just. But in reality, baseless hatred is far more common and unbelievably intense.

   I’m hated for many reasons. One is my personality, which might not be all that likable. I can accept that easily, because usually, those who clash with me have good reasons—whether it started with me or them. I see that as a fair game. But beyond this, people find all sorts of reasons to hate me. Whether it’s because I’m a rival to a new team (and their fanbase hates me for it), because I have a special sense (some accept it, others don’t, and as it’s become more well-known, the latter group seems to outweigh the former), because I refuse to give up my championship title (tied to the previous reason), or even reasons that make me raise an eyebrow—like I own too many cars, I don’t socialize much with other teams, or even my relationship with Charlie, which generates a surprising amount of hatred (sometimes more than my bad personality).

   Before, I didn’t see it as a big deal. Even though I’ve been at death’s door multiple times, whenever something happened and I survived, I’d just think, “Well, I almost died, didn’t I?” But now things have changed. My life isn’t just about me anymore, someone who could die at any moment, intentionally or not. Half of my soul and body feels like it belongs to Charlie now. Every time I’m in danger or get hurt, the one who suffers alongside me is Charlie. He looks tormented every time I go through something like this. So, this has become a much more serious issue, because I hate seeing Charlie suffer over my problems again and again.

   Ever since we got in the car, Charlie has been glued to his phone. I don’t need to ask to know it’s about me. He’s probably telling the researchers about it and asking them to check the strange substance in the drinking water. That’s the only thing holding his attention, and it’s why he hasn’t said a word to me.

   “Enough already,” I finally said, unable to hold back.

   “I’m just talking to the guys,” Charlie replied calmly, still typing away. “Can you drop me off at the lab? I want to get the water checked.”

   “Charlie, I said enough.”

   “I’ve gone along with everything you wanted today. Let me have this one.”

   Silence swept into the car’s cabin without warning. Charlie was still engrossed in his phone, as usual, while I was struggling to keep my emotions in check. I didn’t want to make things worse than they already were, but Charlie starting to take his frustrations out on me was like a spark that was hard to extinguish. Today was supposed to be a day off for both of us, after all.

   “Take me to the lab,” Charlie repeated as we reached the main intersection. Going straight would lead home; turning left would take us to the lab. I didn’t respond, instead pressing the accelerator and heading straight as soon as the light turned green. “Babe.”

   Of course, Charlie’s tone hardened the moment he realized I was deliberately ignoring his request.

   “Babe. I said I’m going to the lab.” I could feel Charlie getting angrier by the second. He turned to face me. Even though I was focused on the road and the car in front, he kept staring at the side of my face relentlessly, as if trying to pressure me into giving in. “If you’re not going to drop me off, pull over. I’ll go myself.”

   “Why do you need to go again? I told you to rest today.”

   “I’m not going to work. I’m just dropping off some water for them to test.”

   “And that counts as resting?”

   “I’m fine.”

   “Fine, huh? Then try blinking both eyes at the same time. Oh, wait! You can’t, can you? No matter how much you blink, it won’t work since you’ve only got one eye right now.”

   “Babe, can you not treat this like a joke? I’m not laughing.”

   The car fell silent again. It’s not like Charlie had raised his voice earlier—he wasn’t that loud. He almost never raises his voice at me, but I have to admit, that was the harshest tone and words I’d ever heard from him.

   

   CHARLIE:

   Even though only five minutes had passed in the real world, in this car, it felt like five days. I’ll be honest—I was so angry I couldn’t speak, so I let time drag on in this suffocating silence, fresh off what seemed like a fight.

   I sat quietly, staring out at the road for a while, until I heard a faint sniffle from the driver’s seat.

   “Babe…”

   I turned to find Babe crying.

   After the line, “Babe, can you stop acting like it’s a joke? I’m not laughing,” I’d gone silent because I was furious, while Babe had gone silent because he was crying. He must’ve been trying so hard not to cry, but he couldn’t hold it in. When he noticed me looking, he quickly wiped his tears, his flustered demeanor breaking my heart. Only then did I realize how cruel my angry words had been to him.

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