Pitbabe S2, Chapter 7 pg5

 Pitbabe S2, Chapter 7 pg5

   “Phii Babe, please,” Jeff made a face like he’d just stepped in something nasty by accident. His comical expression was way more entertaining than polishing the race car’s wheel. Looks like I’ll have to make time to mess with this kid more often. “That’s my brother. Can you not make me imagine weird stuff?”

   “What’s weird about stepping on someone’s back?”

   “Tch, I swear—”

   “Tch, you’d die for free.”

   Jeff’s scoff pretty much summed up how fed up he was with me, but I’m used to that. I enjoy getting under his skin. No, scratch that—I enjoy getting under everyone’s skin, but maybe a bit more with Jeff since he’s practically the only one who can hold his own against me. And I’ve lost to this scrawny kid more times than I’d like. I think the main issue is that I’m still not as ruthless or shameless as this garage owner. I’ll have to train harder from now on.

   “Charlie’s gone again, huh? That’s why you’re picking up side gigs around here,” Jeff said, leaning his hip against the hood of someone’s race car parked nearby. It’s rare for this guy to start a conversation. I’ll admit I was kinda pleased to be one of the few he’d bother with.

   “That’s how it is. I got a ton of missions,” I said, flipping the wheel to the other side, spraying cleaner and carefully wiping down every crevice. It didn’t seem like there’d be a ton of wheels to polish today. If I finished too fast, I’d have nothing left to do. “Soon, I’ll probably have a doctor for a boyfriend.”

   “Isn’t that good? A doctor’s boyfriend, huh.”

   “I don’t care about having a doctor for a boyfriend. I just wanna live day-to-day with him, that’s all,” I said honestly. If we’re talking straight, I don’t give a damn whether Charlie graduates with what degree, does what job, or has what title before his name. Even if he stays a gig-editing nobody his whole life, I wouldn’t see it as a problem. “But if he wants to do it, what can I say? Gotta let him, right?”

   “Yeah, of course you can’t control Charlie,” Jeff said calmly, then paused as if a sudden thought struck him. “Hmm… actually, maybe not.”

   “Seriously?” I chuckled, surprised that Jeff, of all people, would entertain such a silly idea, especially since he’s probably the one who knows Charlie best. “Is he that stubborn?”

   “If you ask him, I think Charlie would listen.”

   “Nah, he wouldn’t. I’ve tried talking to him before.”

   “Like, seriously talking?”

   “Well… not that seriously,” I shrugged nonchalantly. Charlie being busy with his studies and projects isn’t a huge issue for me. At most, I just feel a bit sulky some days when we don’t get to spend as much time together as I’d like. But let’s be real—if Charlie actually met my every whim, he’d probably never get anything done in this lifetime. “It’s not a big deal anyway. I don’t want him to drop everything for me or anything.”

   “But you seem lonely,” Jeff said.

   “Try living apart from Phii Alan for a day, then you’ll get it.”

   “I’d be fine,” Jeff replied, his relaxed expression infuriatingly smug. What’s worse is I genuinely believe he means it—not just saying it to one-up me. “I can manage. The one who’d probably fall apart is Phii Alan.”

   “If Alan heard that, he’d probably cough up blood and die.”

   “Nah, he already knows,” Jeff said with a smirk.

   “You’re tough as nails, Jeff.”

   “One gotta be able to stand on their own, right? I’m confident I can handle it, but that doesn’t mean I want to. If I had a choice, I’d stick with Phii Alan forever,” he said.

   “Hmm… I get that,” I nodded slowly, my mind drifting to a future I hope never comes. If Charlie and I ever had to part ways, I think he’d handle it better than me. I’d be the one falling apart without him. It’s hard to believe I; Pitbabe would ever end up like this. “Probably like Charlie. At least if I’m gone, he’d be fine.”

   “And if Charlie’s died, you wouldn’t be?” Jeff asked.

   That’s a question I ask myself every day. I’ve never been this attached to anyone before, so I don’t know how I’d cope if I really lost him. Compared to that time when I thought Charlie was dead, the pain was so crushing that just thinking about it still hurts. I was terrified every time I recalled living day by day, counting my own breaths, hoping I’d soon reach the moment when I could stop. I wanted to die but didn’t know how. Every time I thought dying would be easier than facing a reality without Charlie, his face would flash vividly in my mind—his voice, his smile, so clear it was like he was standing right in front of me. He’d place his hand on my cheek, give me that gentle smile, and say, “Don’t come here. It’s not that great.” That’s why every attempt I made to give up failed.

   But now… could I do it?

   “If you’re asking me now… I don’t think I could,” I said with a bitter laugh, almost pitying my own weakness. The belief I held years ago is becoming clearer now. That love makes you weak—it’s probably true for me. “Your Phii’s ruined me. I can’t live without him.”

   “This isn’t good, you know.”

   “I know, but I can’t help it.”

   “You have to try, bro. You can’t live like Charlie is your entire world. What if one day Charlie isn’t here? What will you do?”

   Jeff’s words made me freeze. I looked up at his face. His expression was still calm, but I could sense the seriousness in what he’d just said, and that made me feel uneasy.

   “Why are you so worried?” I asked. “Did you see something?”

   “No, I didn’t see anything.”

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