PitBabeS2, Chapter 2 pg2

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   “But it kinda looks like that’s what you think.”

   “Jeff,” I said firmly. Judging by Jeff’s expression right now, I couldn’t just let this slide. I didn’t want to talk about this, thinking I could handle it alone. But it’s pretty clear I’ve done a terrible job at that. “Your future is mine. I told you that from the start.”

   Jeff locked eyes with me, silent. He seemed to be listening intently, but at the same time, it was like he was searching for some kind of answer. I know my reactions often confuse him. I’m just as messed up by my own overthinking, and I still can’t manage it. That’s why I’m selfishly hoping he’ll understand me and accept my foolish, weak-minded self.

   “What I’m feeling isn’t because I don’t want you to see my future. It’s because I know you might see it, and… I’m scared.”

   “Scared of what?” Expressing my feelings was harder than I thought. Jeff still didn’t seem to grasp what I was getting at, and I was getting more nervous, afraid I’d accidentally say something that’d make him misunderstand. “Do you think the way I am is scary?”

   “No, Jeff. Not at all.” But it was too late—Jeff had already misunderstood, thinking I was afraid of his abilities. “I’m scared that if you see something bad in my future, you’ll try to fix it. I know you love me. If something’s going to happen to me, you wouldn’t be able to just stand by. But on the other hand… I can’t do anything.”

   Jeff’s furrowed brows relaxed a little, like my explanation was starting to get through, but not entirely.

   “All this time, it feels like you’ve known things and handled everything on your own. Like you’re the one always looking out for me, protecting me.”

   “Phii Alan…”

   “I feel so pathetic. I can’t do anything for you because I’m not special like you.”

   That didn’t come out quite like I’d planned. I didn’t mean to sound so whiny, and I definitely didn’t plan to act this pathetic. Maybe my uselessness is just too hard to hide, and that’s why I blurted it out like that, making it sound like it’s Jeff’s fault when he’s done nothing wrong.

   My boyfriend… he’s never been wrong.

   “Why would you say that?” Jeff’s hands were ice-cold from being in the water for so long. His small hands cupped my cheeks, forcing me to look up because I’d been staring at my toes for a while. “Don’t you know why Jeff is with you?”

   “Because I’m old?”

   “Do you really want to know, or are you just messing with me?”

   “Sorry.”

   “Phii Alan,” Jeff spoke to me in a soft, gentle tone. It’s rare to hear something like this—his voice was even softer than when he talks to Charlie. And I’m certain I’m the only one privileged to hear it. “I like that you’re ordinary.”

   “I’m not exactly thrilled about that.”

   “You should be. you have something I doesn’t.” Honestly, I didn’t quite get what he meant. I had no idea how to take pride in my ordinariness. It felt like Jeff was saying he liked me because I’m mediocre, or something like that.

   “My life’s never been normal,” Jeff said. “You think I wanted this sense? It might seem cool, but living to know other people’s business and their future isn’t cool at all. It’s pure hell. You know that, don’t you?”

   “Yeah, I know…”

   “Every day, I’m counting down, Phii Alan. Waiting for the day the medicine works so I can get rid of this sense for good. I don’t want to live like this anymore.” The pent-up frustration poured out, the torment and endurance battling fiercely within Jeff. It’s hard to believe a kid this small could handle it all alone, and even harder to believe I couldn’t understand him, when I should’ve been the one who got it the most. He shouldn’t have to explain and reopen those wounds any further. “The things you see as ordinary, I only got to experience them when I was with you. You have no idea how special your ordinariness is to me.”

   It wasn’t just his words—Jeff’s expression and eyes said the same. This was new information. I never knew how Jeff saw me. Sometimes, I felt like a goofy uncle trying to do everything perfectly but ending up more comical than cool.

   At times, I thought Jeff stayed because I asked him to. But now, I’m more certain. I know he stays because I’m ordinary. I’m his ordinary person.

   Sounds pretty special, doesn’t it?

   “Phew…” I pulled Jeff into a hug again, but this time, my heart wasn’t as heavy. “Sorry for being silly.”

   “Not silly. Just an old guy overthinking.”

   “Yeah, let me be the old one here.”

   I held this extraordinary kid in my arms, kissing his damp hair, breathing in the scent of shampoo mixed with pool chlorine, listening to his soft laughter with the hope that it would last forever. If I could be the reason for it, that’d be the greatest thing.

   “Why not ask Charlie to make a drug to transfer your sense to me instead?”

   “You want it?”

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