Pitbabes2, Chapter 4 pg6

 pg6

   “Nothing, keep going.”

   “You’re holding back a laugh,” Charlie complains as I try my hardest not to burst out laughing, though it’s probably not working. “Is what I’m saying funny? I’m serious here.”

   “It’s not funny. You’re just cute.”

   “Huh?” The jealous kid looks confused, which makes sense since our moods are completely at odds. Charlie is annoyed and flustered, while I feel an indescribable warmth. “Do you mean foolish?”

   “How does ‘cute’ mean ‘foolish’? Where’d you learn that?”

   “It’s just my bad personality. I don’t like seeing Babe happy,” Charlie said softly, his expression so conflicted it looked like he was on the verge of tears. “I’m a terrible boyfriend…”

   “You hate feeling jealous that much?”

   “Well, jealousy comes from a lack of trust, like I don’t trust you, and I’m not confident in myself either. If I don’t trust my partner and don’t believe in myself, and all I do is try to act possessive, how can that be a good relationship? I don’t want to act like I own your life. I want to be a good partner.”

   “You sound like you stepped straight out of a book.”

   “There are plenty of people who manage it in real life.”

   “And can you manage it?”

   Charlie fell silent. He probably didn’t want to admit that he was everything he’d just described. The kid was likely thinking he was truly awful, perhaps forgetting entirely that he’s just a human being. Sure, he’s special to me, but I don’t expect him to be perfect to be even more special.

   “It’s okay, Charlie,” I said, taking his hand and looking into the eyes that had been avoiding mine. “I agree with everything you said, but I can’t do it either. I get jealous way more than you do, but we’ve made it this far, haven’t we?”

   “Because I’m always the one smoothing things over with you.”

   “Exactly. When you pull me back, I can smooth things over with you too.”

   “But won’t we just end up as a couple that’s always bickering and making up?”

   “And haven’t we been like that all along?”

   “Oh…”

   Charlie nodded slowly, as if just realizing that our relationship isn’t any more perfect than anyone else’s. I know Charlie tries hard to make it match the ideal he’s envisioned. I’ve been trying in my own way too, changing a lot of things about myself since we started dating. But we can’t deny the truth: we’re both novices on this path. To put it romantically, he and I are each other’s first love. But when it comes to building a relationship in real life, we have to admit this is one pairing that’s more than a little concerning.

   “Come here,” I said, pulling Charlie into a hug. He hugged me back automatically. Charlie seemed much calmer now, and I’ll take credit for handling this version of Charlie so well, even though he’s usually the one managing me. “One day, we might get there, but for now, if we can’t, who cares? It’s not weird to get jealous sometimes. Just let me know how you’re feeling, and I’ll know how to handle it.”

   “I’ll try not to be too unreasonable. I promise.”

   “Mm.”

   “You’re not gonna promise too, Babe?”

   “Nope. I’m unreasonable.”

   Charlie laughed until his body shook, a clear sign that we’d officially called a truce.

   “I was kinda shocked, you know, that you got jealous over me and that Willy,” I said, pulling back from the hug to look at his face. “I was just chatting with him, and he’s not even my type. I thought you’d know that.”

   “He’s young. And good-looking too.”

   “But I don’t go for every kid out there, okay? Don’t make me sound like a creep.”

   “Well, you were talking about F1 with him.”

   “Yeah, because he’s into it too.”

   “I’m into it too. I watch it with you all the time.”

   “Exactly! We talk about this stuff all the time. I was just excited to meet someone else who’s into it. Doesn’t mean I’d rather talk to him than you.” I smiled, partly because I wanted to reassure Charlie, and partly because he was just too damn cute. Seeing him like this only made me more certain that my feelings for him weren’t some fleeting thing. Even when Charlie was so mad he could barely stand himself, all I could think was, He’s adorable and This nerdy guy. “And let me tell you something—maybe at first it looked like I was into him, but after you walked off, it hit me. Willy’s just a whiny, spineless kid who sneaks puffs behind his mom’s back.”

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