The Next Prince, Chapter 45 pg5
The Next Prince, Chapter 45 pg5
The sound of footsteps from behind became louder, destroying the peaceful silence. Charan flinched before pausing when he saw someone waiting outside the gate.
“Nin...” Charan wasn’t surprised or prompted to question how the other knew where he was. Because before this, he was the one who sent the message to report to the other side himself, but what he didn’t expect was Khanin showing up here with a bouquet of white lilies in his hand.
“May I come in?” The questioning sentence received a nod from Charan. He went straight to the gate, unlocked it, and opened it for the young one to step into the family’s territory.
Both smiled slightly at him. Khanin quietly laid the bouquet on the grave of Charan’s parents before stepping back to show his respect.
The young royal counted his steps before standing tall in a composed posture. They allowed time to pass by, and it took several minutes before Khanin finally eased the tension with a few gentle words.
May we talk for a bit?” Their eyes evaded each other’s gaze as they waited for a response. But as soon as Charan replied, the young one’s face gradually relaxed.
They walked aimlessly together. Charan suggested going to the nearby park by the riverside, as it seemed like a suitable place for them to be.
The clock ticked lazily, and the chilly wind brushed against their skin. The sun was a huge ball of fire that slowly disappeared behind the dark clouds.
“How’s your wound, does it still hurt?” Starting the conversation with concern, Khanin had the opportunity to take care of Charan, at least for the first few days. But when the older one insisted on not needing any more time to recover, the young one had no choice but to let go.
“Not anymore… And you, Nin? How’s everything at the palace?”
“The situation there is...”
“Are you tired?” The familiar voice came with a gentle gaze, and Charan’s unchanged look lingered. They both still wished nothing but kindness and love for each other.
“It’s not your fault.” In the middle of the serene sunset, they both seemed to feel the hidden pain.
The pain they hadn’t prepared themselves for.
The oppressive silence was the medium that neither Khanin nor Charan intended to create. The pain that lurked beneath the surface was like an invisible hand that made it difficult for them to answer.
“I’m sorry.” It was strange that Charan didn’t explain or elaborate anything, but Khanin fully understood the apology. The young royal’s eyes were warm, and his small head swayed when he tried to keep his voice from shaking.
“It’s not your fault... It’s not your fault either.”
It’s... not my fault either.” The thick palm slowly touched the warm cheek. Charan didn’t speak to make Khanin feel better, but in truth, the young one had no choice in his birth, and he didn’t know about anything that happened in the past.
“Nin...” He managed to say only half of his sentence before Khanin had to stop and swallow a lump in his throat. The eggshell colored eyelids tilted towards the warmth of the hand, seeking comfort. Their conversation months ago had been another deception that hurt more than the last.
“...I guess it’s good that I’m still alive now, right?”
“It’s good to still be here...”
“...”
“It’s good that we met each other.”
The words continued to haunt him endlessly... Khanin knew that Charan was good enough to not hold a grudge, but he was still the cause that resulted in Charan losing his mother. That couldn’t be changed.
He knew that Charan understood, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t hurt. Khanin was the same. If it was someone else’s issue, a young man could easily point out what they should let go of.
But when it came to his own problems, he was afraid to even think about it. Khanin wasn’t sure if Charan still thought the same way, but seeing each other was really a good thing. Or, was it?
“Nin, do you want to say something to me?” Charan had opened the opportunity, but the other side always seemed to be able to read his thoughts, and this time probably wouldn’t be any different.
They both knew that giving themselves time... was the most important thing.
I... will go back to England...” The simple sentence that he had thought of saying hundreds or thousands of times had become difficult when he had to face the person who had taken Itti’s place in his heart.
Charan didn’t respond, the tall and dignified owner of the house remaining silent, the feelings inside swirling like a storm. Although he had made up his mind, he had always understood the needs of the young man and knew that he never wanted to be here.
However, when it was time to hear the truth from his mouth, the pain flowed in more than he had imagined.
“Have you made your decision?” The decision was difficult to make among the sounds of the final light slowly dimming from the edge of the sky.
“Yes.” Khanin wanted to invite Charan to go with him, he was sure if there weren’t any trouble that involved them, the young man would have the courage to find something that he really wanted to do.
But with the problem he had realized, it was much harder for him to bravely ask for it. His life... shouldn’t demand anything else from Phitakthewa.
Because everything that had happened before, Khanin had received it all along, from care, protection, honesty... everything, too much to dare to ask for more.
“...”
“I love you, Phii Ran.” It was probably the only thing that Khanin had reconsidered so many times that he should tell him, he didn’t want Charan to misunderstand that he didn’t love him enough that he wanted to escape.
But because he loved him so much... he didn’t want to be the one who caused harm to each other.
“I also... love you, Nin” No one could know the pain inside, they both knew well about the love they had for each other, and because they knew, that’s why they were sad.
Sad that their problem had turned out to be like this...
“I know... I will wait for you Phii.” Khanin did not intend to turn around and acknowledge this relationship. He simply stepped back to give Charan some time for himself.
“...”
“No matter how long it takes, I will wait. But if one day Phii Charan you are sure you don't want to continue, just come and tell me... I will understand.” Saying that he understands everything, he raised the widest smile, but the image in front of him faded away. The young man tried to control his voice from trembling, but it was difficult and cold.
“Don’t cry.” He said while patting his cheek with a hand that moved up to his warm cheeks.
Khanin locked eyes with Charan, the last light of the day shone on their handsome faces, reflecting tears from the tall man’s eyes that weren’t different from his.
“Phii, don’t cry.”
“I am crying because you, Nin, are crying.”
“[Sobbing]...” Khanin didn’t want to cry, he wanted to be strong for Charan to understand, but he couldn’t control himself. His feelings were sometimes delayed, heavy, sometimes overwhelming, it was difficult to bear. In the end, the young man slipped out with a whimpering voice.
“Hold on...” Charan’s tenderness never changed. He leaned in to kiss the warm wet cheek, the end of his nose dangling, helping to wipe away tears.
The small hand rubbed into his own flesh, even more deeply touched by Charan’s tenderness. Khanin felt guilty that he had become a bad experience in Charan’s life, hoping that he could someday help both of them heal their wounds...
I have something to ask...” The owner of the small body spooned and stared at the taller one. The sulking eyes made his heart ache. Khanin took a deep breath before gathering the remaining strength to respond to the need.
“Sure?”
“If I turn around… Phii Ran, don’t call me Nin... don’t call me by that name.”
Because he might resist and not be able to let Charan go as he should. Khanin didn’t want to worry, didn’t want to guess, he would give himself time until the day he could help them both walk past the emotional trauma.
The slim figure snuggled into the person in front, closing his eyes to soak up every warm breath, every touch, and keeping this moment in mind, for the first time wishing the sun would stay longer in the sky than ever before...
Khanin didn’t want to ask for much, he just wanted to hold on to this person as long as possible.
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