My Moon, Chapter 3 pg 10
My Moon, Chapter 3 pg 10
“Why are you cursing me? I’m just telling the truth.”
“I shouldn’t have let that slip… now a lousy friend like you keeps teasing me about it.”
“If you hadn’t gotten drunk that day, I wouldn’t have known you’ve been secretly crushing on a junior at school for two years… and now, in your second year of college, you still haven’t mustered the courage to confess.”
“…”
“My friend’s a pro at secret crushes, huh?”
Phii Max’s words made him turn to look at the person sitting quietly beside him. It wasn’t just him staring—Kant, with slightly widened eyes, was also fixed on Phii Shin. Normally, Phii Shin never shied away from anyone’s gaze; he was always ready to meet any stare head-on. But this was probably the first time he didn’t dare hold eye contact, choosing instead to look at the empty plate in front of him.
Klai didn’t want to get his hopes up too much, but when he thought it over carefully, he realized he might actually be the junior Phii Shin had a crush on. After all, they’d been talking for two years now, and Phii Shin always treated him differently from other juniors at school. The female juniors who cheered during basketball games? Phii Shin never paid them any attention. He’d even said before that he’d never been as close to any other junior as he was with Klai.
Klai had once heard a saying long ago…
“There’s nothing wrong with getting your hopes up. But it might hurt…”
So, Klai had always been cautious. He tried not to let himself get carried away with wishful thinking. But perhaps because his heart was ready to take a chance, he allowed himself to hope a little now. Still, he didn’t let his hopes blind him to reality. Klai knew he might either succeed or fail in this love, but after weighing everything, there was a real possibility it could work out.
It’s just the way of the world…
There’s good and bad.
Fulfillment and disappointment.
But no matter the outcome, he could only accept it. The world doesn’t offer many choices—just two: happiness or suffering.
In the past, Klai didn’t know how to handle the two outcomes the world gave him. When everything went as he’d hoped, he’d be so overjoyed he’d forget his tears. But when things didn’t go as expected, he’d be so heartbroken he’d cry and forget his own smile. Klai thought the world was slowly teaching him how to adapt, and it was as if this round world was also telling him… “Don’t let the things that happen affect your life and heart too much.”
So, Klai realized… whether the outcome was happiness or suffering,
He had to accept it.
Because neither would stay with him forever. The only thing that would always be with him… was himself.
Klai has now learned how to handle every outcome the world throws at him.
That is... to smile and shed tears in equal measure.
Don’t let one outweigh the other.
Klai believes this realization benefits him, as it gives him the courage to make a decision. He will confess his love to Phii Shin. He’s now ready to accept any outcome. If their hearts align, he’ll cherish this relationship to the fullest. But if Phii Shin sees him only as a junior, Klai is prepared to face the heartbreak.
Though Klai once said that just talking and being around Phii Shin every day was enough, deep down, no one who secretly loves another wants to stay in that state forever. Those who love one-sidedly sometimes long to be loved back—mutual love, not feelings that pass each other by.
Expressing one’s true feelings to the other, no matter the outcome, at least frees you from the state of secret admiration.
“Fish steak, ma’am.”
“This way, please.”
Klai turned to see the waitress place the fish steak in front of Max before glancing at the person beside him, who remained as silent as ever. Even now, Phii Shin was avoiding everyone’s gaze.
“Just talking about secret crushes... and my friend’s completely stunned, huh?”
“Stop talking so much... just eat your fish steak already.”
“Tuna salad?.”
“That’s mine.”
Klai raised his hand above his head to signal his location to the waitress. She brought the salad and placed it in front of him. He looked at the small pieces of red tomato sliced and placed on the green leafy vegetables. Klai didn’t particularly like eating them. Normally, Phii Shin would take them off his plate, but this time, Klai thought Phii Shin wouldn’t bother with his salad. Yet, his salad plate was slowly slid to the side.
Klai watched as the plate stopped in front of Phii Shin. He used a spoon to scoop the small tomato pieces onto his own empty plate before sliding the salad back to Klai.
“I took the tomatoes out for you... you can eat now.”
Klai smiled and said, “Thank you, Phii Shin.”
Phii Shin nodded and lowered his head to eat the small tomato pieces Klai disliked. Phii Shin once said he wasn’t fond of red tomatoes either, but since Klai seemed to dislike them more, he ate them instead.
At that moment, Klai looked at his salad with a smile. When he looked up at his close friend, he saw Kant’s smile. Kant nodded at him, as if confirming that what Klai was about to do was the right choice.
Klai thinks... he’ll confess his love to Phii Shin before the last exam day.
Because the last exam is math.
After confessing, Klai might get encouragement from Phii Shin too.
:)
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