Pitbabe S2, Chapter 37 pg 4
Pitbabe S2, Chapter 37 pg 4
“I thought I could stay, too. I tried, Babe. The fact that we’re still together now is because of my efforts. But the more we’re together, the more I see your face every day, the more I love you every day, and then when I realize that one day I’ll forget you—do you know how much that hurts?”
I want to know, too, how much it hurts. Does it hurt as much as the truth that one day, I’ll just be a stranger to him?
“I wrote down everything about you, as much as I could remember, adding more every day, reciting it every day. I thought if I kept repeating it, I’d never forget…”
Being the one forgotten versus being the one about to forget—who hurts more?
“But this morning when I woke up, I opened my eyes and saw you sleeping beside me. It took me almost ten minutes to figure out… who you were.”
Or maybe it doesn’t matter who hurts more. It’s one thing for me to hurt because I’m forgotten, but seeing Charlie in this much pain—maybe it’s a sign I should be less selfish.
“Right now, I think if I keep staying with you, I’ll go crazy.”
Maybe… letting go isn’t such a bad thing.
“Loving you more every day… it makes me terrified of forgetting.
It hurts like hell.
But this might be one of the few things I can do for him.
“This time, I’m ending it for myself, truly.”
And at least this time… he’s not lying to me anymore.
I had no words left to say to him. All the strength I had drained away completely. I sank to the floor, in the empty space in front of him, resting my face on the lap I’d lain on countless times, silently trying to say goodbye to this warmth as quietly as possible. But it wasn’t easy. The more I tried to tell myself it was okay, the louder the voice in my head screamed back, asking how I’d live without him.
“I love you, Babe. I love you more than anything in the world.”
I etched his final confession of love into the deepest part of my memory. I want to remember it forever, but I don’t want to think about it too often. The reality that I’ll never hear him say it again is too cruel for someone as weak as me to bear.
“I love you too, forever.”
From now on, it’ll just be me who remembers how much we once loved each other.
But that’s okay.
Just me is more than enough.
CHARLIE:
One year later
The atmosphere at the racetrack made me feel energized, as always. The roar of the race car engines might be annoying to those who aren’t passionate about them, but for me, it gets my blood pumping every time I hear it.
Back then, I could only watch the races from the stands. On days with bad seats, I could barely see anything, craning my neck to catch the live feed until it hurt. But after my talented little brother got himself a boyfriend who’s the captain of the famous X-Hunter racing team, I gained special access to roam the team’s pit like I was one of them. And let me tell you, wearing that VIP badge? It’s cool as hell.
“Hey, Charlie,” Phii North greeted me with a friendly shoulder pat, as he always does. He’s one of the veteran racers to watch this year, with stellar stats in every race. Sure, his playful personality can be a bit much at times, but overall, I’d rate him as a skilled and good-natured driver. “Here to watch the race again, huh?”
“Well, I like watching,” I said with a shy laugh.
“Like watching but don’t want to try racing yourself?”
“Ugh, no way,” I scratched my cheek, embarrassed. Even though I’ve followed the racing scene for years, I’ve never once thought about competing myself. That kind of thing requires high-level skills—way beyond a nerd like me who’s only good at watching others race. “I’m not talented like you, North. Just sitting and watching is better for me.”
“Being modest, huh?”
Phii North left it at that before a staff member called him to prepare for the race. Today was the final race of the season, and X-Hunter was still in top form, making it to the finals without a hitch. As a hardcore speed fan, I was dead certain Team X would take the championship again this year. Bet on it.
The deafening cheers that erupted were easy to pin down. It was time for the racers to hit the track, and fans of each team roared in support as their favorite drivers appeared. The loudest cheers just now? No question who they were for.
“Pitbabe!!!”
When the great king himself makes an entrance, the welcome is bound to be thunderous.
I watched Pitbabe, X-Hunter’s number-one racer, on the monitor with the same thrill as meeting a celebrity crush. Even after watching him race hundreds of times, I still got excited and emotional every time I saw him on the track. He seemed to radiate an aura that shone constantly. His relaxed expression made him look cooler than the other racers. He never looked at the cameras, never waved to the fans—his focus seemed locked on his car and himself alone. And I think that’s what made Pitbabe stand out from everyone else.
“You like him that much?”
I jumped slightly when a voice suddenly spoke close to my ear, pulling me out of my fixation on the monitor.
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