Pitbabe S2, Chapter 36 pg 8
Pitbabe S2, Chapter 36 pg 8
“Thanks for being my little brother too,” the X Team captain blurted out quickly before darting back into the garage without waiting for a reply. Jeff, who happened to be walking out at that moment, got caught in the crossfire. The shy grown-up barreled into him with a hug, nearly knocking him off balance. Jeff looked confused, glancing over Phii Alan’s shoulder to meet my eyes. He mouthed silently, “What’s with him?” I just smiled and shook my head in lieu of an answer.
Figure it out yourselves.
JEFF:
“What’s this, old man?” I asked the guy who suddenly ran up and hugged me like a kid rushing to their mom after school. “Made up with me already?”
“When was I ever mad at you?” Phii Alan replied, pulling back with a puzzled tone, his brows furrowing like he didn’t get why I’d ask that.
“Well, I didn’t believe you, right?” I said calmly. “About Dean’s car.”
“I wasn’t mad,” he insisted, his face serious as if to double down on his words. “That’s just discussing work. Work’s done, we’re done. Why would I be mad at you?”
“Dunno,” I shrugged. “You were making a face like a sulky ass.”
“I was losing the argument, so yeah, I looked like an ass.”
I burst out laughing, shaking my head lightly at the childish spirit still lingering in this not-so-young man’s body, before heading back into the garage. I’d stepped out earlier to check on the folks around here, to see how the car testing was going. I was worried they might still be struggling and standing there with their brows tied in knots (of course, Dean, who was with them, was only there to drive since he knows nothing about mechanics). But judging by how they came running up to cling to me like this, the results must’ve been satisfactory.
“You mad that I was making an ass face?” Phii Alan caught up, stepping close behind me. He leaned over my shoulder, tilting his head to look at me with a curious expression, like a big dog wondering about something.
“Nah,” I shook my head without thinking, walking over to the spare parts cabinet to check what we were still missing. Gotta make sure tomorrow’s order doesn’t miss anything. “I like it when you make that grumpy face.”
“Huh?” The old dog looked puzzled. “For real?”
“For real.”
“Why?”
“And why wouldn’t I like it?”
“Cause it’s annoying.”
“Not annoying at all,” I said, reaching for the order sheet to jot down another part model I just noticed I’d overlooked. “Just showing how you feel… I like you way more when you’re like this.”
Phii Alan went quiet at my words. I’m sure he knew it wasn’t just about his grumpy face. It wasn’t just about us arguing over work until we both got fed up and stormed off to opposite corners. It was about everything that’s happened, what’s happening now, and what might come up soon.
It was about the two of us.
After all the chaos settled, we finally had time to really rest, to let everything go and sit down for the heart-to-heart we should’ve had ages ago. For the first time, Phii Alan opened up about the deep, overwhelming fear buried in his heart. He shed the tough armor called “Captain,” along with the resolve, the steadiness, and the responsibility of being everyone’s big brother. He sat in front of me as just a man named Alan, brave enough to cry and tell me how much he hated his own ordinariness.
Even though we’re together every day and I always sensed something was off with Phii Alan, I never dug that deep—or maybe Phii Alan never let me. Deep down, he was ashamed of craving the very darkness I was trying to rid myself of. To me, seeing the future was a special kind of curse, something I was born with and suffered through without a choice. Because of that, I never thought my fate was anything to envy.
I never imagined it could be so extraordinary that it made the person beside me feel small.
Phii Alan had been carrying the weight of everyone’s expectations—and his own—all along. He wanted to be the guy who could handle everything, the adult who could smash through any obstacle in a heartbeat, just to stay in a state of “availability,” meaning available for other people’s problems. He wanted to be everyone’s rock without ever leaning on anyone else. That immense sense of responsibility let a shadow consume him from the inside, slowly spreading a dark, heavy aura between us. Before we knew it, we’d almost forgotten how to talk to each other.
“You won’t get annoyed, right? If one day I have a ton of things I want to tell you?”
Thank goodness we caught it in time.
Thank goodness we didn’t let that shadow push us even further apart.
“Phii Alan, I only has you,” I said, shifting my gaze from the paper to my boyfriend standing beside me with a sulky expression. After we opened up to each other that time, it feels like Phii Alan has been acting younger somehow. “If I can’t even listen to just you, I doesn’t know why we’re even together.”
Phii Alan broke into a smile—the one I missed most during the times we were at odds. It was a genuine smile, unfiltered by complicated thoughts, just a person so happy and at ease that they couldn’t help but smile.
“I am right here to listen to everything you have to say.”
I smiled back.
Because I was just as happy.
“Thinking about it, I don’t think I’m that ordinary,” Phii Alan said, grinning as if he’d just realized something important. “With so many people in the world, I still managed to find someone like you… that’s no small feat.”
“You gotta tease me like that?”
“Nah, I’m just hyping myself up,” he said, puffing out his chest with exaggerated pride before patting his own head in self-admiration. “Damn, Alan, you’re really something. Snagged a high-quality boyfriend, pure skill, respect!”
I made a face, but ended up laughing because his proud, goofy demeanor was both ridiculous and adorable at the same time.
“Yeah, yeah, you’re awesome,” I nodded, unable to deny it. “You’re already awesome now. If we stay together longer, you’ll be ten times more awesome.”
The old dog tried to hold back a grin, but it only lasted a few seconds. In the end, he flashed a wide smile, then swooped in to hug me again, showering my head with rapid-fire kisses like he couldn’t hold back anymore.
“I’ll get even more awesome.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“I’ll keep nagging you for a long, long time,” he said, squeezing me tighter.
“Okay.”
“You nag me too, alright?”
“If I’ve got something to nag about.”
“Okay.”
It might sound like silly talk, but we both knew it was a heartfelt promise we made to each other. In the little corner of the garage where we spend nearly every day together, Phii Alan and I decided we wouldn’t let those dark shadows get to us again.
“Let’s keep nagging each other until we can’t nag anymore.”
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